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if this is what life should be?

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So I wrote an essay about my late grandparents for English. After I read it in class today, I got a bunch of really sweet/amazing comments from people. Headley's almost made me break down. Keith, I believe, said it best, however..."F*cking a."
Current Location:
The house
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
Current Music:
HEY BABY (Say what? GO HAWKS!!!)
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It will be better. It will. The healing will happen, over time. And I will be able to trust fully again. I can do this. I can patch myself and move on. And I swear to be hard on myself next year, beginning now. I can do it.
Current Mood:
cold cold
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I'm in. I got Knox. And the scholarship. Wow...Holy shit. It's totally unreal. I can't believe it...
Current Location:
my room
Current Mood:
ecstatic ecstatic
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So, I was looking through things I've written. I want to apply for a scholarship, and to do so I have to send in 5-8 pages of my best writing. I'm also sending a story. Anyway, just looking for a lil input. If you don't want to read/comment, fine. I honestly don't care, I just like to get some feedback once in a while. Some I know I'm sending. This'll be a few (at the most) I'm not positive with.




Sorry. I just realized how long those are/how long they're going to look. Once again, don't read if you don't want to. *deep breath* Now, I'm not going to flip out and hide this or take it away. I'm going to do  this and deal with what happens. I'm nervous. I don't usually bare this much of myself...This is my writing. You have no idea how protective I am. I've almost flipped out because people tried to read my notebook. Anyway...here goes nothing...
Current Location:
at the computer
Current Mood:
anxious anxious
Current Music:
Who Am I? - Casting Crowns
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 My ENTIRE UofC essay is gone! I somehow managed to save over it last night. So...I have to do my 3-5 page English essay tonight so I can rewrite my Chicago essay tomorrow. I'm gonna die. A slow, painful, horrible death. And on top of that, I'm not gonna get into Knox or Chicago. Someone shoot me now, please...

Current Location:
Current Mood:
stressed times infinity!!!
Current Music:
Roxie's Suite from Chicago
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If you don't recognize anything in here as something you've done, I'm not referring to you. In fact, if you're reading this, it's probably not you. But it makes me feel better to know this is out there, so...
To all my "friends";
Thanks for being there for the past couple years, especially when things got hard. Thanks for leaving me with lots of great memories that now I want to forget, because they hurt too much to remember.
Thanks for leaving before things got good. Thanks for not giving me a good reason. I never got to tell you when things started to resolve. Then again, thanks to you, they unraveled again.
Thanks for giving me time to think I've healed, then throwing shit back in my face. I really appreciate it. Really. Couldn't be gladder for it.
Thanks for causing me to doubt myself, especially when I'm told that you don't want anything to do with me because my boyfriend's protecting me or because you weren't on the right meds. Seriously, thanks. I love knowing that all of the love and care I gave to you was wasted, and all the times I canme to you with problems meant nothing. Thanks for making me feel worthless and unloved. Thanks for making it hard for me to trust my REAL friends. Thanks for mking me scared it's going to happen again.
Thanks for lying to me for 2 years. I feel GREAT knowing you feel you can trust me with your real self. Thanks for basically accusing me of being a bad friend by trying to solve a problem and mend a relationship, instead of ostracizing a sweet, caring, loving, wonderful friend. Remind me not to annoy you. Thanks for not getting the hint. You hurt me. I don't want to talk to you, hang out with you, nothing. I work with you because I have to. I don't want to give you someone's number, I don't want to listen to your story about your boyfriend. I blocked you on AIM, and I'm tempted to do it everywhere else, too. In fact, I probably have, simply so that I can heal. I want to cut you out of my life completely, like I've been cut from yours. End of story. LEAVE ME ALONE.
Current Location:
Current Mood:
sad sad
Current Music:
The Music and the Mirror - A Chorus Line
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Grrr...I have to talk to someone. And I can't get him alone! If he'd been able to give me a ride after band today, it'd have been PERFECT!!! I don't want to have to wait until Thursday!!! Grrr...
He couldn't come in today. I feel like shit. Completely. Thank God for Jenny's and for Poe. The two of them are amazing. Thank you guys so much. I needed it. I still blame you for the weight I'm gonna gain, Jenny! Jenny, Stace, Max, and Greg = much fun, especially on Jenn's roof. 'Twas awesome. Thanks for making me smile. It takes a lot lately.
Current Location:
Current Mood:
Current Music:
Halloween - RENT
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Books meme
Copy and paste
Bold the books you’ve read
Italicize the books started, but not finished
Add 4 new reads to the end

(ReadCollapse )The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Book 4) - J.K. Rowling
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter 5) - J.K. Rowling
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Book 1) - J.K. Rowling
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Book 2) - J.K. Rowling
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Ender’s Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott Card
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien(all 3 of them)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert
The Unberable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
Hey Nostradamus! - Douglas Coupland
The Nature of Blood - Caryl Phillips
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules -Ed. David Sedaris
Yarn Harlot by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
Spook by Mary Roach
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Suzanne Clarke
Marley and Me -- John Grogan
Gone to the Dogs - Emily Carmichael
Book the 11th: The Grim Grotto: The Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
State of Fear - Michael Crichton
The Speed of Dark -- Elizabeth Moon
Interview with the Vampire -- Anne Rice
The Vampire Lestat -- Anne Rice
The Snow Fox -- Susan Fromberg Schaeffer
Anansi Boys -- Neil Gaiman
The Princess Bride -- William Goldman
Luck in the Shadows -- Lynn Flewelling
Arthur & George -- Julian Barnes
The Seven Dials Mystery -- Agatha Christie
The Stupidest Angel -- Christopher Moore
Sabine's Notebook -- Nick Bantock
Strangers in the Night -- Linda Howard
Night Tales (v.1) -- Nora Roberts
Reunion -- Nora Roberts
White Lies -- Linda Howard
Fever Season (Merovingen Nights) -- CJ Cherryh
Divine Rite (Merovingen Nights) -- CJ Cherryh
Angel With a Sword (Merovingen Nights) CJ Cherryh
Mount Dragon -- Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child
Ella Enchanted -- Gail Carson Levine
Dreams Underfoot -- Charles de Lint
Settling Accounts: Return Engagement -- Harry Turtledove
In Cold Blood -- Truman Capote
Happy Hour at Casa Dracula -- Marta Acosta
Not in Kansas Anymore: The Curious Tale of How Magic is Transforming America -- Christine Wicker
Wicked -- Gregory Maguire
Holy Fools -- Joane Harris
Nikolai Gogol -- Vladimir Nabokov
The Picture of Dorian Gray -- Oscar Wilde
From a Buick 8 -- Stephen King
Half a Life -- V.S. Naipaul
Kafka on the Shore -- Haruki Murakami
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater -- Kurt Vonnegut
Naked Lunch -- William S. Burroughs
The Illuminatus! Trilogy -- Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson
Swann's Way - Marcel Proust
V. - Thomas Pynchon
The Coast of Chicago - Stuart Dybek
Aura - CArlos Fuentes
The Girls- Lori Lansens
A Streetcar Named Desire-Tennessee Williams
The Professor and the Madman- Simon Winchester
Alabama Moon- Watt Key
Confessions of an Evil StepSister - Gregory Maquire
Tempting Fate - Chelesa Quinn Yarbro
Break no Bones - Kathy Reichs
A Taste of Crimson - Marjorie M. Liu 
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch - Solzhenitsyn
Candide - Voltaire
Emma - Austen
Hamlet - Shakespeare
Current Location:
my desk!!!
Current Mood:
cold cold
Current Music:
Halloween - RENT
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2nd at Earlybird!!! YAY! We almost killed Egan...and Natalie. And beat Auburn and New Trier!!! W/o Stace, so we're gonna be FAMAZING with her!!!!
My internet's back.
Hw...eek. I'm dead!
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